Listopia

I love how unanimous this vote is

I don't know who or what they/it is/are but if Ndubz exists, it must necessarily be moronic.

Abhorrent little pigs.

If you havent watched it - Facejacker Ndubs episode

37 votes!

Right. Who did it? Own up.

Is this a record thumb up?

I went to see them because someone said it was girl with 2 cunts.

*rimshot*

PS. I know who thumbed this down. Hopefully it was an accident. Clue: it's one of the people who have posted a comment here.

PPS. This is the second highest thumb-uppery. Winner is in 'Strange But False' list. I'm fucking fascinating, me.

What's the highest?

Good knowledge KJP. I bet it was Bloblet. He's a bastard like that.

I just realised it was me that thumbed it down. I think I was trying to be funny or somesuch.

Wahey! Thanks mookay. I've PM'd you about work

How is the rent-boy market these days?

Put this way, I can still get 2 pound 10 a tit, and a fiver for my arse.

BIG thumbs up

Leeds is a very big city.

(applauds Exxon's response)

Yes and I will keep calling you Jordan you fat titted cunt.

That showed her.

What does she want to be called instead?

BIG thumbs up! Those two really make my shit itch!

I believe she now prefers the moniker 'Lady Bucketgusset' nowadays, Barber.

I believe Jordan yearns to be called Ripflaps

And the other racists from big brother, the model. Danielle something. The fucking slag.

And the celebrity status of Brian Belo: a man who, let's face it, makes the opinion that black people are intellectually inferior seem not wholly unreasonable.

Cancer. Turns a twat into a saint. Ditto car-crash.

I really hope I get cancer.

Found something we agree on, then.

Lockwood, has anyone ever asked you if you enjoy being lovely?

And beans on toast. At 2 o'clock on a hot afternoon in Lanzarote last year, with a really good English-speaking tapas bar just round the corner, those ignorant gastrozenophobic plebs were stuffing their gormless faces with beans on fucking toast!

All the while saying how great it is to get away from it all. Apart from all the bloody foreigners, of course. And we're missing X Factor for two weeks...

Let's hope that Sky can fit it on along with 10 episodes of Corrie an Eastenders! Can't wait to get back to it

Just once I'd like to see the mother or father on the news after the murder saying "to be honest, he was a little cunt".

In fairness, they are usually referred to as 'Angle' in the online posts.

Ha!

Or "Our little ray of sunshine"

Or "Our little ray of publicity and book deals"

Or "Our little ray of hope nobody finds out we were fucking him/her".

Hahaha

Everyone that dies young is always an 'angel' even if the accident happened as they drove through a line of schoolkids crossing the road whilst fleeing the cops after beating up a blind man for heroin money,so I guess I should not begrudge them.

Who thumbed this down, honestly..

I did. You are all Guardian reading homos.

Yep. Although the Yanks had their Diana moment thirty-odd years earlier, when the adulterous one had his head blown off.

That was where it all began. The fuel blockades, the paedosteria, the 'support the troops', the olympic mania. Where's it going to end eh? Where's it going to end? God knows I never had much time for Diana Spencer, but I'm sure that isn't what she'd've wanted.

As in 'the smoke goes up the cHimley'

I would give you all the thumbs in the world for this post. I outwardly squirm when people say it.

I won't be friends with anyone that does this. It's for their own safety.

*giggles*

Yes. Football is for cunts. Although I'd guess that the Yanks do the same for saoftball, or whatever it is they play there.

Who the fuck gets 26k average salary? Rich fuckers!

If you don't include footballers, the average salary is 12K

It's only the students who have the spare time to go on marches. I'm too busy on Listopia. And wanking. Occasionally both.

I knew we had something in common. Show me your helmet.

Gaaaahhh yes!

The buttons don't do anything if it's a junction. They're just there to keep you amused.

At some junctions some pedestrian phases may be shorter if the button is not pressed actually

And when someone presses the button again either on your side or the other, as if that makes any fucking difference.

The new style ones with the crossing signal next to the button can time out, so it is worth pressing them again

dandanetc you are very knowledgeable about crossings, did you invent them?

No, I'm just a fan

They stopped making crossings in 1989.

That makes me want to vomit. In fact, fuck it. Here I go.

Response: what was the other one?

Don't be facetious: he's read at least five books. One of them was 'Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever, My Story'. Well, he hasn't actually read that one: he bought it for his daughter and she told him he was a great dad. So it MUST be good.

Throw Sara Cox onto the pyre too, please.

oh no I like her!

Sorry, she's already sort of on fire :|

Ha! And "toff" or "posh" for anyone who can read.

I used to love going to those when I was a student. Although, in those days, they were just called 'parties'.

I disagree in support of my mate who does functions in one of the best 80s tribute band ever

Is that the Emo one - Bananaselfharma?

Newsbeat! It's like news, with a beat!

At least it provides some sort of respite from the deluge of shite music.

It's like news, without any of the pesky facts getting in the way of the cool backing music!

Listening to Radio 1 full stop.

Dont u kno? She invented music n clothes n dat.

Well I hate her. If I hear one more inane song with a chorus that goes something like na-na, wa-wa or ooh-la-la I'll write a strongly worded letter to my MP.

Actually, that is a good thing. I have a spanner set in pink.

As is my camouflage trousers and army surplus shirts.

And it's likely that a good half of them didn't vote in the General Election.

And it's likely that a good half of them didn't vote in the General Election.

And it's likely that a good half of them didn't vote in the General Election.

And it's likely that a good half of them didn't vote in the General Election.

What key are we meant to be in?

Vocational guidance councellor.........

..Vocational guidance counsellor...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/6222393.stm 'The real star of the piece, though, is Esther Hall's delicious mischief.' I can't remember when or why I found this article about them, but the phrase 'delicious mischief' in reference to this advert still makes me want to do a hate-shit on anyone associated with the advert. And BT in general.

Hahahaha, a hate shit?? That is fucking brilliant.

I knew this would get some thumbs down but fuck it. The Merkins shit out decent telly like there's no tomorrow, but over here we'd rather watch a children's programme. BALLS to it.

Here fucking here!

Sherlock is though innit

ace. should have had the word 'ace' in that brief sentence. You should be able to work out where it should have been with a little focus and trial and error.

You stupid fucking cunts.

What do they know of DW who only New Who know

Look, this still annoys me. Doctor Who is great. Stick to wanking over fucking Lost if you want to be a cunt. Which you are. Cunt.

Barber you are obsessed you sad twat.

Old Who good. New Who shit.

Stavros - at least I can still see the TV when I'm behind the sofa. Dan... - it's time to agree to disagree.

People who prefer old Who overwhelmed by the same nostalgia felt by Daily Mail readers who remember the good old days when there were no darkies and a policeman could smack your kids.

That is collaborationist nonsense and I suspect you were paid a substantial fee to post it.

I'm with SLVA here. I love all Who. I guess I'm just too good a person.

I love all Who too. It just so happens that all Who finished in 1989, that's all

I SHALL NOT RISE TO YOUR BAIT DAN

dangles bait temptingly

*recites alphabet backwards

*wanks

...and now the Americans will think he's an average Brit.

Unlikely. Statistically his face is 492 million times more punchable than the average.

Aaaarrrrggghhh!!! I accidently thumbed down!!! Sorry!!!

I thumbed up to counteract your thumb down

Cheers Mookay.

Or "basically".

Or "absolutely".

Jimleh - don't watch this: http://bit.ly/cNnW4E

Fucking hell Lockwood.. That was literally HORRIBLE

I felt like a cow about to moo! Lol

"We are literally going to have to pull dresses out of our asses for this show". Only if I get to ram them up there with a monkey wrench first...

Literally obliterate their face by rubbing out the letters on their face?

Maybe just because it's ubiquitous, like mentioning any other media would be.

Terrible, terrible show, but the theme music used to rock.

heh - that's fantastically shit. Who say that?

Attractive ladies done say that.

Why thank you.

Meanwhile an axe looms over BBC Four, despite being, you know, actually quite good. I know the BBC is trying to tap into that elusive market the 16-24 bracket, but fucking HELL BBC Three is shite.

BBC Three is more like sandbox TV to test what ideas work and what don't.

Get thee to a Sam Smith's pub if you're in London, Rob. £1.80 for a pint of Best!

They also brew lager that isn't shite. Remarkable.

Yep, Sam Smiths if you want the most shocking hangovers of all time. Theres a reason its cheap. It makes you want to kill people.

Or come to Weatherspoons in Hull and pay about £1 - £1.50 for a proper real ale.

"Weatherspoons in Hull" .. I would honestly rather go for cocktails in down-town Fallujah

Wetherspoons.

Climateknives

"Weatherspoons in Hull" 66.6% recurring of these words are awful

And not a single one of them has ever found anything that could conclusively be identified as a ghost.

Surely this should read "There are more than zero ghost hunting shows on TV" ?

If there wasn't one we wouldn't know to be angry about it existing.

And they're all held at night. As we all know, ghosts and monsters only come out at night (qv).

Its the t-shirts with the hand prints on the tits that do my head in

*rushes to Primark.

I used to love BangBus when I was a kid. Professor Yaffle was my favourite.

E.g. "I often LOSE my watch up my wife's clunge because it is so LOOSE. When I'm fisting her. In the LOOS."

That's not retarded, it's just average. Guess how thick the average British person is. Then double it. That's how thick they are.

No. Never use a machine that has a sticker on it saying 'For customer service call 0870...'

Cancelled due to unforseen circumstances etc.

Don't post spam.

I was going to write this haha. That theme tune makes my cock want to be chopped off.

The most depressing music ever and everyone laps it up.

EXACTLY!

I think the music is totally appropriate to the programme, really.

I think the music is totally appropriate to the programme, really.

Was that the Sunday repeat?

Was that the Sunday repeat?

It makes me shudder.

How about a Wonga app? For those just-left-the-pub-and-I-need-a-loan moments?

Oh, you mean like this Wonga.com app on the App Store? http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/wonga/id316429895?mt=8

Infact, I think that URL deserves its own entry

Use promotion code SOULHARVEST25 to get 25% off.. ..the APR of 999999%.

Also, panic-buying petrol when no strike has been announced and they'd have to give 7 days notice of one anyway.

I'm actually surprised how stingy british people are "oh godz noez 4p extra" - It won't make a single fucking bit of difference you cunts.

The dot matrix signs on the motorways should be reprogrammed to read "CALM DOWN YOU FUCKING BELLENDS".

hahaha

But that's the right-wing press, not the British populace. The 'divide and conquer' ploy is an age-old device of the ruling class. The British are only retarded to the extent to which we don't realise that.

I voted it down. But only because my fingers are too fat.

How could you vote your own entry down?

Cunts

because it's cheaper than regular petrol?

Yes. This really does annoy me. No. I don't have a girlfriend at present.

Also yes. Also single.

Can you be more pacific?

This literally makes me angry.

Yes, fucking annoying.

Does it matter. DOES IT MATTER

Popcorn in London is £8...

I hope you're joking.

People don't realise that you're allowed to take your own goodies in. I always pop in the corner shop and get some fucking top snackage, then record the film on my camera and punch the usher in the tits.

I just don't go to the cinema, it saves even more money.

Granted, but have you seen TV in France or Italy? If we're retards, they must be permanently vegetative.

Agreed..

The fact that more people saw Simon 'Nipplebelt' Cowell's return to this tawdry, pier-end show than watched the entire second series of Psychoville says a lot.

Very true Mangosta.

It would be funny if you did think Radio 3 was a sign of Retarded Britain.

My brother: "I think our Royal family should be more like the Dutch royal family". Me: "I think they should be more like the Russian royal family."

Mike's brother: "Please put your cock away".

That's because nobody under the age of 80 voted in that poll. Otherwise it would have been skewed by people who couldn't name any poets other than Spike Milligan, Cyril Fletcher and Pam Ayres.

Auden is my favourite poet. I'm so dull. I have been known to masturbate outdoors though.

Will probably run on telly until she dies, and then there will be fucking books, biographies describing her greatness and importance to society etc etc

Well, her sister got cancer. Might be in the family.

If this is true I may go fucking postal. Postal with a dirty bomb.

It's true. I wish it wasn't, but it is. Fucking sacrilege.

It's a good point this, at 14p a mile, say, go more than 5 miles out of your way in that example and you're losing money on the round trip. Not to mention the cost of your time.

I'm very cheap labour wise, so if you come pick me up and let me drive you the petrol station and back, it'll cost less

It'd only save my time though if you went by yourself, while I got on with other tasks. And I'd be wary of letting anyone else drive my car. If it costs £2800 to replace my car, it's not worth risking that to save £1.40 unless I'm confident that the chances of them crashing it are less than 1 in 2000. Which I'm not.

Nice wheels!

Bunch of lefties on here, are we?

I'm not.

i am, the alternative is too cunt-like...

I can't believe this was posted after we'd got the coalition government, fucking shocking.

People how complain about it usually just mean "Why can't be divisive and insult someone who is different to me?"

Indeed. I think Rich Herring said that PC should stand for Polite Consideration. The same people who moan about Political Correctness are usually the same ones that moan about falling standards of politeness.

If Herring said that I'm astonished. He managed to get out five or six words without mentioning that he went to Oxford.

Thumb down. It's actually rather a fine example of Denys Lasdun's work.

Well Denys clearly has a very low fucking standard. I'm sure it's nicer than his other pieces such as 'piece of pavement' and 'pebble-dashed terrace'.

Listopia seems to appreciate Brutalism, who knew?

Walked past it this morning. One of my favourite buildings in London.

I love the mixture of architectural styles and history in London, and especially the southbank. If everything looked the same, it'd be called Milton Keynes.

cooked and served by the demographic that we're said to fear the most. Hmm

C2DEs?

Hmmm. A lot of curry lovers here then. Hardly haute cuisine

What the fuck do you normally have for your dinner then, Heston?

Before curry, it was spaghetti bolognese. We're dead cosmopolitan, we Brits.

And before that it was glue and packing foam. Curry is fucking dull.

Curry is ace.

Maybe you should go round for an evening of Meat-In-Flavoured-Cream with lockwood *wink*

Try these places next time you're passing and you'll be converted; http://www.veeraswamy.com/index.htm http://www.tayyabs.co.uk/ http://www.kasturi-restaurant.co.uk/

Only if he doesn't mind the cream being on the turn and with a slight aftertaste of rusty coins.

Got the tee-shirt mate. Got the tee-shirt.

I never had a curry where I didn't have to presume that the meat was what I ordered because it just tastes of a sort of cream and chilis or something. Could well have been dog food most of the time but I really wouldn't know.

A nice curry is good, but there are much finer dishes available. Therefore, thumb up. Yeah bitches.