Words That Should Exist

Words that would be pleasing to use in everyday vocabulary

Info n' Chat (2)

 

Default display. Log in to get freaky with the sorting.

Mompliment (n) Things a mother says about their children's achievements when they either don't like or understand them. 'Different' 'Interesting' and 'Unusual' are classic mompliments.

No Comments

Scrumber (n): The anger which grips even the most worldly, liberal, peace-loving Briton when they install a piece of software and are forced to select 'English (US)' as a 'language'.

No Comments

Imposterophe (n): The apostrophe incorrectly used in plurals by idiots.

No Comments

Boop(v) The action of a pigeon's head as it mechancially moves back and forth as it walks. "The pigeons in the square ran about manically booping as the street sweeper drew near"

No Comments

E-bent horizon - the point beyond which a collection of cumshot pictures frankly becomes a collection of big stiff cock pictures

No Comments

Duffercakes: (n) Cheap confectionary favored by the eldery.

No Comments

Poorferation (n): Ineffective perforation. Commonly found in value-brand toilet paper, poorferation allows one sheet to almost be torn from the next, before failing and ripping a thin triangle shape from it, rendering it useless.

No Comments

Frish (v): A style of washing-up employed in communal kitchens, such as offices and student houses. Frishing an item involves rinsing it under tepid water, washing off most of the visible muck, then putting it back in the cupboard and making a mental note not to use it again for about a week.

No Comments

Grack:(n) The sound heard from various household appliances or parts of a building that emit a noise without any apparently cause. Usage: The TV spontaneously gave out a loud resonating grack from the corner of the room.

No Comments

Slert (n): The unappealing watery residue that forms on top of yoghurts and is usually poured away.

No Comments

Burgina (n): The tubby mid-40's divorcee found in every office of 10+ people, who spends her day spouting weak innuendo ("That's a big one!") and dull sex-based trivia ("Ooh, they say a sneeze is an eighth of an orgasm!"), pausing occasionally to fan herself and say "Ooh, I'm having a hot flush!"

1 Comments

We've all got one. SHe keeps cats as well.

March 15, 2011 by TheBoyTucker

Exexexcess (v): To over-swear. To hurl the strongest of expletives at relatively minor incitement. e.g. To drop a raw carrot and then call it a "Fucking ginger cunt". Not to be confused with thick twats who swear constantly, dropping in 'Fucking...' to fill the gaps while their brain catches up.

1 Comments

(2) Mrs Exxon

January 19, 2011 by exxon

Antegownism - The completely out-of-proportion rage you experience first thing in the morning as you attempt to put on your dressing gown, but can't figure out where the sleeves are. For advanced bouts, leave one sleeve inside-out the night before.

No Comments

Pafflapap (n): When stacking books on a shelf and you discover that you don't have enough to fill it, Pafflapap is the noise made when the five or six books on the end all fall down as you search to room for something to use as a bookend.

1 Comments

This word is instantly entering my vocabulary. *thumbs up*

August 22, 2008 by seany85

Fruck (n): A word which sounds as if it should be rude. Popular frucks include Plinth, Titular, Claggy and Yurt.

5 Comments

Rectify and shunt fall into this category too.

September 3, 2008 by Joeyjojo

And Crevice

September 14, 2008 by Astatine

I wanted to add 'Botany' with an alternative meaning: Agony of the bottom.

October 31, 2008 by Zod

Don't forget 'dinty'. And 'shit'.

January 10, 2009 by Stevie_bee

IS this from somehwere, because I'm sure I've heard it before but it might have been here. I'll check back in another couple of years.

March 15, 2011 by TheBoyTucker

Dumbet (n): In a multipack of crisps, the bag which has popped open and gone stale. Finders always vow to send the dumbet back for a refund, before deciding it's too much of an arse-ache. Official estimates suggest that if all dumbets were returned, Golden Wonder would go bankrupt within two weeks.

1 Comments

I've started using this to mean someone who drives along in front of you at 40mph in a 60 zone

February 17, 2012 by dandandandandan

Squeemishment (n): Social awkwardness caused by not knowing which way to look when the window-cleaner is working on a window directly in front of where you're working.

No Comments

Skrank (v): a word used to describe the massive agony of a category 5 hangover. My head is skranking so badly I can't even be bothered to do a sick out of my mouth.

No Comments

Groening - the sinking feeling you get after watching yet another Simpsons episode that failed to make you even smile. In usage since around 2001.

1 Comments

Thumbed down by a MOTHERFUCKER

March 22, 2011 by Barbersmith

"Scradge" - that sound made by dry toast falling on kitchen lino. See also "smat"- yoghurt falling on the same.

No Comments

Nopology (n). Any statement beginning 'I'm sorry if...'

No Comments

Notstalgia - the sudden realisation that the past wasn't quite the golden age you like to fool yourself it was. In fact it was quite shit in a lot of ways.

No Comments

Clickhate (n): Stubborn refusal to click on a link someone's posted to Twitter/Facebook, because it's some sort of 'clickbait' ('28 Pictures of Justin Bieber On Fire', 'The Best Cat Photo You'll See Today' etc) and to click it would prove you're no better than a lab rat hammering a 'Feed Me' button.

No Comments

Wootangle(n): A none regular geometric shape, that looks impressive enough to warrant admiration from a viewer. The Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao is crafted mainly from wootangles.

2 Comments

So, when you strike the wall of the Guggenheim, does it make a, ahem... "Wootangle Clang"!!!? HAHA HAHA HA aHA ahuh huh hhr ...

February 10, 2009 by See Gee

*slap*

January 6, 2010 by seany85

Obviual (n): A self-help book that you'll get halfway through, before realising that it consists of nothing but obvious 'advice' about making To-Do lists and not eating lard. "Do you have 'How to Remember Stuff?'" "Yes, over there with the Ob...

No Comments

Clerfer (n): In any live band, the clerfer is the member playing an instrument that nobody can actually hear. Clerfers usually specialise in the violin, mandolin or any handheld percussion instrument. "What's Bez doing, is that a tambourine or a maraca?" "Dunno, he must be the clerfer"

1 Comments

I used to clerf on keyboards, but it's mainly cello these days.

March 7, 2011 by MikeAlx

Quinkle: A piffling amount of money which is saved by an action whose annoyingness far outweighs its value. "By printing the time in our TV listings as 12.0 instead of 12.00, we could save a quinkle!" "Today Ryanair announced a raft of new measures to save quinkles, including banning toilet paper"

No Comments

DJ-vu (n): The feeling that you've already heard a local radio breakfast show's material, usually because the lazy bastards have robbed it from a joke email currently doing the rounds, and are trying to pass it off as their own.

1 Comments

That cunt Christian O'Connell did it to me once, but I had the last - and doubtless only - laugh, because the joke I texted to him was fucking rubbish.

September 14, 2010 by SpartacusMills

Grunk (n): A word that you can't say out loud without feeling like a twat. Common Grunks in the English language include Snippet, Chat, Picnic, Crisps and Choose.

1 Comments

"Loo".

March 7, 2011 by MikeAlx

Mong (v): What experts in their field do to fish or iron.

No Comments

Anticippointment (n): Really looking forward to something that ultimately leaves you unfulfilled. For example, England in the World Cup, a chinese curry or sex after a night on the lash.

No Comments

Deceipt - a bit of paper you get along with your receipt, which promises 50% OFF and then mumbles 'when you spend £100 or more. Applies to crap things only.'

2 Comments

'To say thanks for doing your massive monthly shop in Tesco, here's a voucher for £5 off next time you do your massive monthly shop in Tesco. Oh, as long as you do it next week'

July 21, 2013 by costas

I got one in Tesco which gave me 7p off my next purchase

July 22, 2013 by SLVA

Preoptimism - Hoping that you dont look like a fucking freak after your sex change. Yeah right, all the chicks I want to fuck have hands like shovels.

No Comments

Psycholist (n). Some cunt who rides grim-faced towards you on the pavement at 200mph.

No Comments

Quaffle (n.) Speculative writing about the Harry Potter universe. 'I found this really sad abandoned blog, it was full of quaffle about what might happen in The Half Blood Prince.'

No Comments

G.T.A.D.D. (n): The aggravated state one finds oneself in after venturing out in public subsequent to a long session of playing Grand Theft Auto, when one is overcome by urges to pull motorists from their cars, stride out confidently into traffic and shoot pedestrians in the face.

2 Comments

I wouldn't go that far myself, but my brother and I both have a tendency to mount kerbs, drive too fast and occasionally in the middle of the road for about the first 3 minutes after playing GTA. Until reality kicks in

September 7, 2008 by seany85

I have a real problem not trying to hit motorcyclists head on at high speed and watch in joy as they fly gaily into the air.

March 15, 2011 by TheBoyTucker

Ta!bloid(n): Bonus news publication, inadvertently delivered by soon-to-be ex paper-boy. See also, Foolscrap, (n.) Sunday supplement windfall with free useless gift.

No Comments

Hidebernate (v): Pretend not to be home for surreptitious reasons, usually relative/neighbour/debt collector avoidance, but esp. when in receipt of a Ta!bloid, where a protracted battle of wits may well ensue.

No Comments

Cymritude (n): An excessive level of Welsh nationalism found embarrassing to all concerned.

No Comments

Darchaeology - Nigerian equivalent to Time Team

No Comments

Duhja Vu (n): Doing something utterly stupid which comes back to haunt you months later, e.g. putting a dead lightbulb back in the box and keeping it with the new ones, deciding not to write down your phone- banking password, buying Tesco Value clothes, inviting the family over for Christmas.

1 Comments

LOL @ Tesco Value clothes. Although the folly of that usually only takes a week or two to materialise - coupled with deep self-loathing at knowing you've supported sweat labour just to save the few quid you could easily have afforded.

March 8, 2011 by exxon

Gruption (n): Pleasure or satisfaction derived from something fairly wrong. Cat owners often experience gruption whilst using a special plastic sieve to sift the turds out of a cat litter tray, a task which can often feel not unlike panning for gold. Only with shit.

No Comments

Snargle(v) A mixture of laughing and snorting usually caused by laughing hysterically. "The Man laughed so hard, he started snargling"

No Comments

Frondage (v, archaic): A debt of ferns.

No Comments

Antiqulimax (n): the feeling when you disciver your Stradivari/Rembrandt/Ming vase is in fact worthless trash.

No Comments

Clownautohorngerausche (n) The noise that a clown car's hooter makes

No Comments

Fassy-Nannue - (n): A large man who is prone to childish temper tantrums.

No Comments

Racismo: (n) loud posturing and threats about 'beating up racists' in the company of likeminded, well-educated, genteel students.

No Comments

Blapticule:(n) Another word for paintball.

No Comments

Chuzzed - The feeling you get after you've just fucked someone and they want a cuddle and they're nuzzling into you and you just want to get the fuck out of there.

No Comments

Sprunge:(n) The ingrained muck you get on trainers that can never be cleaned out no matter how hard you scrub.

No Comments

Sarcasme - The act of executing sarcasm so poorly that it backfires, leaving you with eggy embaressment your face.

No Comments

Bungranger (n): Someone of sufficient stupidity that they still think it's worthwhile to phone Quizcall.

No Comments

Flanf (n): The seemingly endless fluff-like surface expulsion of new rugs and carpets, no matter how many times they are vacuumed.

No Comments

Twark (v): Of female drama students, to repeatedly slip into an exaggerated Bugsy Malone-style New York accent in regular conversation.

2 Comments

OMIGARD, YES!

January 10, 2011 by exxon

Somebody please replace the splurge-guns with live ammunition.

March 7, 2011 by MikeAlx

Hadanza! (interjection): Coded way of acknowledging that someone has just explained your joke back to you, but which sounds like you're complimenting them on making an excellent joke.

1 Comments

"How do you make a Venetian blind? - With a series of slats and a complicated pulley system" "Or you could just poke him in the eye!" "Hadanza!" "Well, thanks!" (thanks to anderslimpar for the example joke)

August 23, 2009 by Jamesface

Fot (n): The noise made by breaking the seal on a jar of instant coffee.

5 Comments

Ergo, the best word in the whole world evah

September 14, 2009 by exxon

Douglas Adams circa 1982

January 1, 2010 by Tony13

Opening a jar of coffee is a joy!

September 11, 2010 by Stavros

That nice smell of coffee you get when you do it? Apparently they put a squirt of coffee essence under the lid. What a fucking con. That explains why the second sniff always smells more like burnt toast

November 1, 2010 by dandandandandan

If you hit the foil with the back of the spoon, it makes a satisfying crack

July 22, 2013 by SLVA

Swexty (n) the sense of irritation at having to manually enter a swear word or proper noun into a new or borrowed mobile phones’ lexicon. Can also refer to the sense of irritated bafflement at the phones original and nonsensical ‘predictive’ suggestions.

No Comments

Wafty (n), Shortened form of 'Wafty crank' Opportunistic self-pleasuring or frottage, such as may be exploited from the denizens of a gloomy shed, or in a Launderette full of blind folk.

No Comments

Arsedic (a): Noxious fume emitted from unwashed arse/cock combo i.e. Phwoar, my pelvic region is totally arsedic this morning!

No Comments

Repulsympathy (n): The combination of disgust and pathos that descends upon you when watching a very, very fat person eating.

No Comments

Nausephrenia (n): disorder resulting from the overconsumption of Stella Artois.

No Comments

Clateli (n): The assorted clattering, fumbling and beeping you hear when you answer the telephone and the caller spends five seconds trying to take it off speakerphone.

No Comments

Cocclusion (n.) When an ogling opportunity is spoilt by the presence of an observer on the far side of your target

No Comments

Dimmic (v): To suddenly worry that you've done something, even though to have done it would require monumental stupidity. e.g. to drop off some library books, and then suddenly wonder if you'd left a ten-pound note in one of them which you'd been using as a bookmark.

No Comments

Lactomangulation (n): The act of trying to open one of those stupid little containers of UHT milk they serve on planes and at service stations, ripping the foil to fuck while failing to access the "milk", until finally the whole thing explodes in your face.

No Comments

Prash (v):To quickly do something you said you'd done before anyone realises you haven't done it, or has a chance to point it out. e.g. after sending an email promising an attachment which you forgot to add, to hastily send it in a second email before the recipient has time to send a sarcastic reply

No Comments

Inundoablified : a sense of panic often felt by PC geeks when they suddenly realise that something they have done in the real world cannot be CTRL+Z'ed.

No Comments

Crapter (n): A badly-scheduled episode of a TV series which sticks out like a sore arse. Crapters include the Christmas special repeated in July and, in US series shown in the UK, the epsiode about Baseball, where knowledge of the rules and players is required in order to understand half the jokes.

No Comments

Quant (n): the units for expressing how much you desire something.

No Comments

Troubleyou (n): The pointless WWW that you still have to put at the beginning of some URLS for some reason.

No Comments

Dribing (n): The state in which you find yourself behind the wheel when you're raving at other drivers for tiny breaches of pointless road rules.

No Comments

Gingemo (n, contr): A ginger spazmo. Coined to save time in situations of russet headed idiocy.

1 Comments

Hahahaha, I'm going to call that my neice in the morning. *shamefully admits that the gingernome has entered my DNA pool*

September 11, 2010 by Stavros

Fabricant (n) - a preposterous lie told to dull people to explain why you can't meet them when you're too polite to simply say no.

No Comments

Clickle: 1. (v) to manually stimulate the clitoris [already listed in the Urban Dictionary]. 2.(n) the sound of typing on a laptop; (v) to smugly get one's laptop out in a public place and proceed to type on it in a hugely masturbatory manner.

No Comments

Liquishit (n): When you manage to score an 8 or above on the Bristol Stool Scale.

No Comments

Hapsi - being slightly peeved at something nice happening because you expected something better to happen. Example: you get a blow job off Pam Ayers but are obviously unhappy as you thought you were on for a threesome with Rachel Riley and Natalie Sawyer

No Comments

Waxmanned (pp): being stopped as you're putting on your coat at 5pm on Friday and asked to fix something before you go. (< Al Waxman 1935-2001)

No Comments

Vunjhe - Of sellotape that has been in service for quite a while and the adhesive has become quite gooey and slightly slimy.

No Comments

Quanickly - Of sellotape that has long since been Vunjhe, and the adhesive has decayed into a white flaky residue and the tape into brittle strips of celluloid.

No Comments

Snetsta - the sort of rickety wooden stepladder whereby you'd rather go buy new Christmas decorations than use it to access the loft to retrieve the ones you already own.

No Comments

Twerk (n): In any group conversation about 'Big Brother', the Twerk is the person whose sole contribution is "Oh mate, I'd love to go in there and just, like, wind everybody up and start loads of arguments, it'd be well funny".

No Comments

Posticule (n): When Hollywood releases a live-action remake of a classic cartoon (with a top star in the lead role), this will be followed up a year later by the posticule. This is the cheap cash-in sequel (usually going straight to DVD), in which the lead role is played by an unknown.

No Comments

Clurt (v): After opening some milk/Pringles/other foodstuff, to leave the 'freshness seal' partly attached, in the misguided belief that this will keep the product eternally fresh. As opposed to just annoying everyone else and collecting bits of cheese which then fall in.

2 Comments

argh! I meant to thumb up and hit the wrong thumb! I'm sorry! I want to undo it but I can't and I'm positively raked with guilt! I love this entry and hate clurters :) Forgive me?

January 10, 2011 by sarahornothing

not raked, racked. Dammit I'm all over the place.

January 10, 2011 by sarahornothing

Slodge (v): to describe something which is thicker and more sticky and viscous than mere sludge. Mix together oil paint and acrylic paint and varnish to get 'slodgy' paint. Also, the weird post-washing up filth that appears in the bottom of the sink.

No Comments

Hyprenocturnia - The euphoric mood enjoyed by all participants at a children's sleepover which lasts until the first argument.

No Comments

Sludgefuck (n): The thick mud which creates misery for all (except hippies) at music festivals.

No Comments

Genericizing- To make things more generic but your too much of a management dick to just say generic

No Comments

Chonker (n) a female breast, usually (pl) Chonkers - thought to derive from the phrase 'smashing set of chest conkers'.

No Comments

Fartleberries (n) The small pieces of excrement that sometimes escape when passing wind rather vigorously.

No Comments

Mirabe au pel voincet (n) The French equivalent of the Hollywood cliche of any scene set in Paris to have the Eiffel Tower in the background.

No Comments

Hurp (v): reverse burp. The resultant action from sharply inhaling whilst simultaneously belching.

No Comments

Sqedan - A car where the driver must suffer from what can only described as 'bollard blindness'

No Comments

Fackle (n) The hull of a boat.

No Comments