Listopia

"There's no place like home! There's no place like home!" cried Dorothy as the Tin Man swung the flat of his axe blade against her bare buttocks again and again. It was to no avail for the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion each had their noses pressed firmly into a ruby slipper as they inhaled deeply.

Voila! In view a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. Vouchsafe, be you virgin or vixen, this vicious vagabond will violate your vagina with his veined rapier then vivify your vulva with violently Vesuvian eruptions of verifiably viscous spaff. You may call me 'V'. Remember that name as you'll be screaming it later.

She stepped thoughtfully into the lift at Thames TV, her mind churning through the past hour, where Sooty had been the most intriguing, aloof and erotic interviewee she had ever encountered. She glanced into the reflective wall and became so mesmerised by her own glittering eyes that she failed to notice the lift had stopped and the doors opened. Sweep entered wordlessy and without so much as a squeak, he pressed her against the wall and began to tit her up. Any thoughts of Sooty vanished...

"No one can be *told* what The Matrix is." rumbled Morpheus as he unbuttoned his fly, unsheathing a bold penis with the words THE MATRIX crudely tattooed down its length, "You have to ... suck it ... for yourself.". Neo gasped, his jet-black sunglasses suddenly fogging over from the blast of groin-heat.

"Let me ride the Ninky Nonk" begged Upsy-Daisy. Makka Pakka was deaf to her cries, and continued pushing various differently sized stones up her velvety dirtbox.

Ana simpered up to Bungle, mouth aquiver and nipples on red alert. Her voice dropped to a husky octave: "You do know how to whistle, don't you Bungle? You just put your lips together and blow..." Bungle put his hands on his hips and surveyed her open-mouthed. Ana bend her head and began to unbutton her blouse. "Geoffrey!" Wailed the bear. A smile played on Ana's rouged lips. "Menage a trois. We'll make a man of you yet, Mr Bungly-Wungly." An ursine whimper rent the air. Ana dripped.

Barbara Good's nude body arched violently as Tom's whip landed between her splayed legs for what must have been the twentieth time. The goat nuzzled idly at her nipples, as Margot jerked the animal's leash away with an impatient tut, viciously grinding the naked and wall manacled Jerry's testicles in the palm of her free hand. 'What ho peasants' he gasped as he exploded into a tumultuous climax.

"Call me Ishmael, you whore" he shouted as he stuck her with his meat-harpoon like an over-excited Japanese 'researcher'.

As her tongue probed urgently into his mouth, Luke's hand found Leia's soft breast. Obi-Wan looked on knowing all too well that this was very wrong yet, beneath his robes, he sensed something; a presence that he'd not felt since...

Little Miss Curious remained silent, as Mr Topsy-Turvey hoisted her up from the ceiling hooks by her ankles for a vertical 69.

"Some men just want to watch the world bum." whispered Alfred Pennyworth as his old, grey bellend slipped out of young Master Bruce's ravaged bum-bum with a resounding "PLOP!".

Julian reached behind him for the empty ginger beer bottle. Anne lay splayed before on the picnic rug with his face having just been wrenched from between her legs - now Ju was going to finish her off with a bottling. The urgent insistent cries of George rose from beside them on the rug as she was gloriously penetrated by Dick. He would have his turn in that particular honey garden later. Then the sumptuous abandon would be over - they had smugglers to catch

'I just asked you if you were hurt and you said "Yeah, I'm hurt."' 'That's because you made me say that.' The Duke risked a glance at the grizzled yet ruggedly handsome bounty hunter. 'Jack, you're a grown man. You're in control of your own words.' He paused, wondering whether to take the plunge; 'Of...your body.' 'You're goddamn right I am. Now here come three more words for you: Suck my fucking dick.' The Duke smiled as he lowered his head; 'That's four words...'

No-one had called her Margaret for so long, it reminded her of when she was a much younger and more sought after catch. But now, as her daughter left the room, she could tell that she was being undressed by his mind. The innocent shock of blond hair now looked so much more sopisticated, as did the noticable bulge in his stone-wash jeans. She knew that tonight, she would be penetrated deeply and roughly by her daughter's high school boyfriend and she would be screaming Scott Robinson's name

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire" she guessed as the putrid stench hit her nose.

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" slurs Rhett as he ambles off to the bag. Scarlett, muttering angrily, reaches under the bed for her dildo.

"We have invented happiness" -said the last men and blinked, as they popped their vinegar strokes into Ana's receptive face. Friedrich sat on the sidelines, boshing his tiny schwanz, muttering fevered epithets about staring not into the abyss.

"I'll be back" he intoned as he left the room to wash the shitty blood off his cock for the third time that afternoon.

'To hell in a hardcart' she thought as he hoisted her legs up for his variation on the wheelbarrow position. The variation being that her arms were hog-tied to her sides meaning there were some nasty carpet burns developing on her sobbing face.