add to it 
more lists... 
....destroy the world according to some
like it
hate it
have a replacement bus service for 2/3 of its length. 
Set every horse in the world on fire.
stop, short, never to go again.
Torquay
Make everyone's bum fall off.
give dyslexics Regal hard-ons.
create a black hole, scientists wary of it's power at first soon realise it's harmless and charge people €15 to put their hand in it.
end up back in the box after a couple of weeks, just like all your other toys.
Partially collapse, somehow burning a 27km swearword into the French/Swiss landscape.
be the next guest presenter on Have I Got News For You.
Spill twenty thousand space moths out of its electron chasm, and they've got antimatter legs that go on your monitor and cause dead pixels.
be one motherfucker of a rave site when they've finished with it
mysteriously get clogged up with hair.
Become sentient and stick its trillion mile four dimensional quantum fingers up at everyone before turning itself off with an astronomical farting sound.
use Vista, thus causing the Hadrons to collide much more slowly than it said on the box.
get bought out, after scientific failure, by a Chinese Restaurant firm and turned into the world's largest Lazy Susan
fill with sewage, freeze solid, rotate to vertical, split and release a gigantic piss-poo hoop.
have loads of so-called Creation 'scientists' nimming, "Yes, that's all very clever, but has your experiment shown you who CAUSED the Big Bang?"
erase itself from the space-time continuum. This page will be the only trace left of it, creating a paradox. Everyone reading it will cease to exis...
Open a wormhole to Valhalla, and as the whole world watches, a million angry vikings stab everything in sight over and over again while screaming.
make a noise like a kazoo
find Maddie.
be used to transform Boris
Johnson into the new british
Hulk - to protect us from evil
everywhere.
closed for engineering works until next Spring.
bum your mum.
create a subatomic credit crunch.
Induce labour in every animal that happens to be carrying a child. The world is flooded with amniotic slurry.
come round your house for dinner and complain that 'that's not how my mum makes it' the ungrateful cunt
be all shit and get lost like Beagle 2
Make Stephen Hawking's balls
drop and make him sound like a
robotic Barry White
make my mum a better cook.
end up as a ride in Alton Towers 15 years from now, heralded as 'The Ultimate Space/Time Ride' with badly acted rantings from a 'crazy scientist' to endure while you queue for an unacceptable length of time.
make a lovely fizzing noise, and then stop working.
create an army of midgets and invade Poland.
be used to help cure world
famine by simultaneously heating up AND transferring
through space 250,000 Pot
Noodles directly into the
hands of the poor of Africa
and Asia. Bono to flick the
switch.
Oscillate at a particular frequency that sounds like babies screaming, and you can hear it from 200 miles around and never turn it off.
Tear a dimensional rift between adjacent universes, coalescing our universe with another. The only difference being that all mammals have two extra sets of nipples.
get sued by the Hadrons using Claims Direct.
be best remembered for one of the most profound scientific pronouncements of the 21st century: "Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a twat" — Professor Brian Cox.
be used as it was always secretly intended - a huge race track for nerds on their rocket powered toboggans
Be envied by all the Little or Average Sized Hadron Colliders
get you,as the Rhythm is on its annual leave period.
collide some hadrons, presumably. Large ones.
be all needy and clingy and require constant reassurance on how well it's colliding the hadrons.
be a massive cock ring for the giant nuclear powered kim jong il killbot that North Korea are building.
somehow become untied and fire hadrons all over the fucking shop
Give the Listopia Live get together a miss.
be a huge anticlimax, just like the Mary Rose and the Hubble Telescope.
be a massive fake and the people who made it should be ashamed. Apparently, it's a big con CERN.
make Professor Colin Pillinger come, probably
Make aliens shit themselves laughing at us, causing loads of startled inbreeds to phone in about UFOS all over Tulsa, Ohio and Powys, Wales.
become the world's most powerful magnet, attracting all metallic items with a 150km radius.
have size issues.
Demonstrate clear flaws in Weinberg's Standard Model, causing a fundamental conceptual revolution in subatomic physics. And spurt gobs of monkey spunk all over Switzerland and France.
Explode, leaving only a pair of smoking scientist sandals.
teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony.
liquidate Paris.
bring Gordon Freeman out of
retirement.
show my nan how to crochet
go out with a bang
Take a year out and travel around Asia
drink all your milk, even though you clearly marked the bottle as yours in felt-tip.
only be able to pick up 5 live, but still does that weird pulsing thing where it gradually goes from deafeningly loud to inaudible.
invite all of Facebook to a 'Skins' party at your house.
Become a hit T.V. show when nerdy scientists, quickly bored at firing protons, have a couple of cans of Red Stripe and decide to launch different types of animals instead.
convert to Islam.
bring Mark Fowler back from the
dead and help him run a fruit
and veg stand full of AIDS.
give the whole of Switzerland some lovely chemotherapy.
lead to the creation of the X men.
do one of the following: best case scenario for the common man, nothing happens at all. Worst case scenario, the entire universe stops ever having existed.
Finally solve the Y2K problem in 98% of PC's and Macs.
smoke fifty ounces of cheap
rolling tobacco through an old
saxophone
Bring Stuey Lubbock back from
the dead and make him bum
Michael Barrymore
make Barak Obama drink a
gallon of special brew and slap
his wife about
