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Pride comes before a Of Lions 
You can't teach your grandmother to bake fog.
There's nowt so queer as folk. Bumming
It is easier to eat soup with a fork than to eat bread with a straw.
Many a Mick 'll make a mess of your drive
Dog in the hat? Pissed by teatime.
A fool goes to fish in a judo suit.
You can't make an omlete without the ingredient of eggs.
Brush a horse in the morning, and your arm is sore. Brush a horse in the evening and ache no more.
Even a dead child tells the right time twice a year.
Two stitches in time saves 24, because the relationship is non-linear.
A squid in a vase will speak no ill.
A troubled dog won't build you a bridge.
Seventeen badgers can't prevent a war.
Huntley is as Huntley does.
In the kingdom of the blind, the deaf man cant hear the snooker.
A friend in need is friend in tweed
You can take a horse to water.
Better to have lost in love than to have been repeatedly and publicly humiliated in a degrading manner like Jodie Foster was in that gang rape comedy.
A friend in need will sell you their treasured possessions for a pittance.
He who laughs last is impaired.
It is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a camel to.
Bukkake is the refuge of cowards.
Strike a monkey, live and learn, Strike a match and watch it burn.
Never pay a sparrow to do a plumber's work.
It is easier for a rich man to enter a camel than it is for a poor man to
Too many cooks, shallow brooks
A porno in a hedge is worth two in the hand
A cold child is almost an excuse.
A four-legged man will climb the mountain faster, but must spend twice as much on trainers.
A dog in a manger does not feature in the King James Version.
Cuckoo in May, ooh arh ooh arh ay.
You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can't teach a dog to slice ham.
Thrice a finny, ne'er a fanny.
Women are like buses. That's it.
The children of fools rarely wipe their ovens.
Only a rich man can sack the butler.
An eye for an eye leaves us all with one eye and screwed depth perception
A whisk in the drawer can do no harm, but a spatula in a windmill will do no good.
Without water, lemonade would be just lemon. Without lemons there'd be nothing at all.
It takes more than 5 minutes to wash your balls in a stranger's sink
Too many cooks spoil the telly
The more you rake, the better the steak
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky. Man with hole in both pocket not feel too cocky.
There's no use crying over dacryostenosis.
If you wank off a friend, neither of you go blind.
See no evil, Knievel no evil, mind out for that row of buses.
A damaged toad won't polish your shoes.
Never fix a broken pipe with cabbage leaves.
Only the eagle flies when the snow falls on the gay man's village.
Should thrice the crow caw in the morn
Fill then your underpants with corn
Purple sky in the morning. Bored shepherd on acid.
The way to a man's heart is through his aorta.
For want of thrushes, one eats blackbirds.
The early bird wishes he'd had a bit more of a lie in.
You can't drive a tractor with an orange.
A pat on the back beats a bat in the crack.
The man with a thousand eyes may see all, but he will not fit in his front door.
A rolling stone goes faster downhill.
Up hill all way, legs-a-bending, downhill come may, legs-a-mending.
A bird can sing with a broken wing, but you can't pull the feathers off a frog.
A stitch in cloth, feeds a moth.
One in the hand is worth two in Kate Bush
A bird in the hand. Look I could crush it to death! Easy.
Patience is a card game.
A bitch in lime serves wine.
You say potato, I say go and get your face fucked.
Let he who sins bum your dead gran.
Red sky at night, Downs Syndrome Army on the march
You can take a roof-mounted Van Shark to water, but you'll never make it leave it's self-destructive comfort zone.
You can't beat the moon with five stars in your hand.
Wishing is the blind man's succour.
Keep your friends close and your enema closer.
A watched cock never cums.
Don't take financial advice from a hamster.
A pickled badger is not troubled by fleas.
The child is farther away than the man
When the three headed goat is born in the valley, the moon has hair on his upper lip (old Arabic proverb)
A bush in the hand is better than a bush elsewhere.
A celibate vicar won't marry your alarm clock.
An ounce of gold isn't worth the shine.
Too many tall people spoil a midget's convention
The man who speaks the most, needs to breathe the most.
A Rolling Stone has probably shagged Kate Moss
A man playing the spoons summons the ghost of London past.
Red sky at night, the sheep are burning.
All legs, no Van Morrison.
Give me an hour and I'll assume it's quarter to ten
An ill wind blows potatoes
'tis better to shit it and run away than ever be able to show your face in the pub again.
Discarded offal does not a gravy make
You can't beat up an old lady with a feather.
You may take a week's holiday, but is it a holiday for the weak?
A cat with a stealth suit is like a man with no face.
Never throw a javelin in a semi-detached
The best form of attack is to mince (Tzun Tzu the Art of Camp)
Don't teach your grandma to suck Giggs
Softly softly catchee burglar.
He that glistens gathers no broth.
Time flies like an arrow. But fruit flies like a banana.
You can pick your fiends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose...unless they say it's ok, and you like that type of thing.
Never drink from the Furry Cup on a Tuesday.
Where there's a will, there's a doctor
