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A List Of People For Whom There Will Be A Special Circle Of Hell, Looked Down On With A Mixture Of Pity And Disgust By The Child Murderers And Estate Agents
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People who play Rn'B on their phones in buses. Extra burny, please. 
People who overuse the word 'random'
People that never shut the fuck up about how high they got the previous weekend, as if they're the only people in the world that ever did such a thing.
Anyone who bought the 'Crazy Frog' single
People who beak off a conversation, mid-sentence, to answer their mobile phone.
People who say "pacific" when they mean "specific"
Nick Griffin.
Anyone that converses in text speak by email and on internet messageboards.
Anyone who says "arks" instead of "ask"
People who say "I'm not being rude, but..." If you have to say that, then you are being rude, you cunt.
Every single cunt who works for, or has ever worked for, in any capacity whatsoever, Vice-fucking-Magazine. Relentlessly cunty cunts, the lot of 'em.
People who do quotation marks with their fingers.
Families whose entire wardrobe was bought from JJB and Sports World.
Bus drivers who stare blankly into your eyes as you run for the bus. Then pull off just as you get there.
Anyone that thinks that one of the Shrek canon is the best film of all time.
people that go to Starbucks.
White people who talk with BAD, fake Jamacan accents.
Bus drivers who don't wait for you to sit down before driving off.
People who pronounce "aitch" "haitch". Especially if they work for "haitch ess bee cee" or "haitch emm tee."
People who say "between you and I".
people who say 'at the end of the day'. ever
George Lucas. Three was enough.
Miserable vegan cyclists in lycra.
any one who says i wuv you
George fucking Lamb
People who wear sunglasses on the tube. Utter cunts.
Anyone who still uses the word ickle
People on reality TV shows who say 'I'm not here to make friends'. Oh so you're just here to be a useless cunt then.
anyone who thinks its cool to live in the east end cunts
Daphne from Eggheads, WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE
Those really hyperactive gays that (when even slightly ridiculed) go from over the top cutesy nice, to utter, utter cunts.
People who say, "was it for yourself?" when they mean "was it for you?" and "you can speak to myself" whan they mean "you can speak to me". Cuntbandages.
People who say "No offense" when what they're saying has nothing to do with you
Lads in kecks that stop a good 20 centimetres below their waistline.
People who get confused at the concept that anyone would like to own a CD or record as opposed to just the mp3 or ringtone.
People that go to Starbucks for the food.
Cunts in Mumbai call centres who think reading idiot cue-cards off a monitor and saying things like "have you tried rebooting?" constitutes technical support. Wankers.
The Respect party.
Anyone who enjoyed any one of the Scary Movie franchise, or Date Movie, or Epic Movie, or any of that shit.
People that laugh at the adverts in the cinema.
Bus drivers that complain when you don't have the correct change. IT'S YOUR JOB TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE ENOUGH CHANGE IN YOUR FLOAT BEFORE YOUR SHIFT STARTS YOU BUMWIPE!
Anyone who proudly boasts "I just call 'em as I see 'em/speak my mind/call a spade a spade/say what most people are thinking, and if anyone doesn't like it, that's their problem" as justification for being a rude/racist/sexist/homophobic shitwhippet.
Taxi drivers who use their horn rather than coming and ringing your door bell.
Anyone who ambles along
the street, texting "IM GOIN
ALONG THE HI ST M8, B
THR SOON" to their fuckwit
mates, unaware of the tutting,
sighing queue of people stuck
behind them.
People who do ironic quotation marks with their fingers.
Anyone on the street with a clipboard that tries to get my attention first thing in the morning.
Rex off Big Brother
Whoever decided that the appropriate percentage of days in the week to work is 71.43. Knobbers. Could have said anything
anyone who bought a flat in shorditch coz it was cool squeezed out a kid or 2 and now complains about the noise from the clubs just die or move to church st whith the rest of the fucking hippies
people who feel compelled to contribute to lists, without actually having anything interesting or insightful to say.
also, celebrity chefs.
People who say "myself" instead of "me" when they're trying to be posh
people who write basically at the start of every fucking sentence in their emails
Lily fucking Allen.
Richard Littlejohn. And people who like Richard Littlejohn.
People who don't learn your name, no matter how many times you meet them, and they revel in it.
People who overuse the word "blatantly"
Bus drivers who stop in the middle of the road to have a little chat with their mate driving the bus in the opposite direction.
People who win, then smugly smile as if winning meant saving the world from utmost doom.
People who use 'surreal' when they merely mean 'things got a little unusual back there'.
Coverage of London-specific issues on the national news. I don't live in London and couldn't give less of a fuck about who becomes mayor or not.
Married couples that attempt to do a pre-arranged humourous or 'alternative' first dance at their wedding. Just shuffle about to some old shit for three minutes like the rest of us, cunts.
Fat people with fat children
Renee Zellweger
Whoever designed the legislation that deems that 'doing the knowledge' and thus riding around on a moped reading an open book on one's handlebars is 'driving with due care and attention' but eating a sandwich isn't.
People who tell you the dream they had last night in minute detail.
People who write things like, "Please revert to myself as soon as possible.".
That sanctimonious twat, who not only looks like he's one chromosome short of being Downs, but also thinks he's actually capable of writing a readable TV critique for the Metro. Burn him, then shove his glasses up his ugly mancunt. Hard.
Anyone with a blog.
tim evans. this isn't a funny response. but it is a
heart felt one. i hate him. i hate him more than i
have ever hated anyone. apart from philip jarvis.
whose sham marriage videos i still own.
Anyone who works for The Arts Council or any of it's related quangos.
Princess Michael of Kent
People who take ages at cash machines - especially those who produce a second or third card.
Continuity announcers who spoil the poignant endings of films by coming in over the credits and trying to be funny about what's coming up next. One circle deeper if they're plugging something that's only on a pay TV channel that I can't get anyway.
Barmen in provincial pubs that spin glasses or bottles in their hands prior to pouring or serving.
Robin (The Boy Wonder).
Didier Drogba
people who pretend to hate east london. or
london in general. jumped up, back water, fucks.
